I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
