sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
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Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
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The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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