So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
