Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
