she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My hand turned me down
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
