i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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