Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
