I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Holy sore nipples Batman
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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