my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
