the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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