I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
