You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
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And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
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REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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