i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
