So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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