Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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