just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
