I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
