so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
