direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
