for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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