Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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