Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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