Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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