girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
