At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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