doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
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I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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