My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
