you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
