Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dicks are not precious.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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