I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
