hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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