if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
