I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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