Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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