More tranny stories later!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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