she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
