Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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