He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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