that's an acceptable place to lick
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
