shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
