Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
