My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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