bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
