She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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