I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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