I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The Olympian is in my bed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize