spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
