Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
