Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
