I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Alive.
So much puke
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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