I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
