I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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