I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
