You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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