So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
