btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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