Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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