how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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