This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
