don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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