Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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