Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
