Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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