i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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