big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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